For the fifth time I tried to calm myself down and convince him our relationship was worth it, I cried, hoped, and ultimately felt miserable. Seeing him after our breakup did not help either. I was lost, hurt, and confused.
In the weeks just after being dumped, the person who was dumped will likely feel that their whole world is crashing down upon them. Everyone gets dumped at some point in their lives; sometimes it is more of an amicable split – but one person tries to hold on to the relationship a bit more – and other times it is a full on “I’m ditching you.” Being dumped can be one of the best things that can happen to a person; it allows you to grow and realize your mistakes, tells you what you are really looking for in a potential mate, and helps you focus on your goals as well.
I was so blindly in love that I hadn’t realized I’d become sensitive about every little thing in my life, even if it wasn’t a big problem, or that my ex-boyfriend, who I was trying to get back together with, exposed qualities that were no longer desirable in someone I really wanted to be with. And with him not only had I lost sight of who I was, but also of what my goals for my academic and future career were.
It doesn’t help that we are trained to feel that the end of a relationship is one of the biggest failures of our life. Just turn on the TV and you are bound to see romcoms with the female protagonist chin deep in a gallon of chunky munky, because she just got dumped and is already dreading her future as an old maid living with a house of cats. Or you will see a TV show that paints a romantic relationship as the end all that cures a character’s depression or family/school/life issues. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
According to “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken,” a book by Greg Brehrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Brehrendt, people who have been dumped should cherish the time they have alone. Because it might be the last time you are single and have time to enjoy doing things you like alone, before you meet the person who could make you happy.
The relationship bug can sting very hard, but we shouldn’t wallow in our sorrows. It is truly better to get over a relationship before it has died and rolled over in its grave. Don’t lose your dignity and plead for the person who dumped you back; in the long run it’s not worth it, and if they dumped an awesome “super fox” (term coined from “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken”) like you then they are not worth your time.
Most people, at some point in their lives, have been dumped by a guy or girl, no matter their sexual orientation. After being dumped, it’s important to set your life in motion towards the way you want to live it. Even if emotionally you don’t feel like doing so, if you can mentally tell yourself to let go and move in another direction in life, your heart will soon follow your mind’s endeavors. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.
My breakup taught me to be strong and let go of the small things. It’s a given my ex had problems, but I had problems I had to work on as well. I socialized more, found a new hobby, and spent more time with my family and friends. I continued creating the life I had left off to be in a relationship that went nowhere. I left my sorrows behind in a garbage can on an unknown street that I would never visit again. I was on my way to becoming a better improved me.
Leave a Reply