Cassandra’s Dream, College Students and Sexwork

Vanessa Brink is laid out on her bed in a brightly lit Los Angeles apartment. Flat on her stomach, hands propping up her head and legs kicked up in the air, she brushes back her long, dark hair and gazes through the webcam. Surrounding her, hanging on the walls of her bedroom, are several vibrant canvases depicting striking, brightly colored nude portraits.

One year after graduating from Parsons in 2005 with a degree in illustration, Brink found herself on a plane to Los Angeles, where she would spend the next six years of her life working in and out of the adult film industry. She would star in over 200 pornographic films in that time, all under the guise of Cassandra Cruz — an identity she assumed as her own until this September, when she decided to quit the industry for good and return to her deferred dream of becoming an artist.

On a recent afternoon, Brink spoke to the Free Press over Skype about her long and strange journey from aspiring artist to adult film star. Her story is not entirely unfamiliar — if anything, it is an exceptional and undeniably vivid representation of a reality facing young men and women every day. From porn stars to escorts, and from strippers to dominatrixes, many young men and women have turned to sex work to make ends meet.

“Many college students pursue sex work in order to pay for college tuition, or fill gaps in daily spending money,” said Jarad Ringer, a coordinator at the New York City Anti-Violence Project, an organization that assists people who work in the sex industry. “The choice to enter the trade is purely financial for many of these students.”

Unlike Brink, the identities of the young men and women who comprise the industry’s workforce are often elusive. “College students keep their sex work under wraps because they often do not want their temporary sex jobs to affect their future career, plans or endeavors,” Ringer said.

There are no reliable statistics that account for the number of sex workers currently active in the profession — anywhere and of any age. Behind Closed Doors, a 2005 analysis on indoor sex work in New York City, stated that “Due to the covert nature of commercial sex, it is difficult, and perhaps impossible, to determine how many sex workers are currently working in New York City.”

 

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Brink, now 30, grew up in Kinnelon, New Jersey, a suburban town about 50 miles away from New York City. From a young age, she longed to leave the small town behind to pursue a career in fashion design. “By the time I was in eighth grade, I had my eyes set on Parsons,” she said. “I was going to be a fashion designer.”

It was at Parsons, however, that Brink first became acquainted with the sex industry; a friend suggested that she take advantage of her attractive physique and aggressive disposition to try her hand at domination. Brink, then a sophomore, began working at a bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, or BDSM, dungeon in Manhattan — and would continue to do so for another two and a half years.

While some would be shocked or offended at such a suggestion — including her Loeb Hall roommates at the time — Brink liked the idea from the start.

“I liked [domination] because I got to be mean,” she said. Brink found the experience to be empowering, and even said that it “helped improve my art. You need a voice when you do art, and you need a voice when you’re commanding someone to do something.”

“Same thing with porn,” she added.

While at Parsons, Brink enjoyed painting erotica. She recounted one of her favorite painting classes, taught by Professor Alan Reingold. For extra credit, students had to paint a snake turning into a gold bracelet; instead of painting it on an arm, she drew inspiration from a pornographic photo and focused the work on the genitals of a woman.

“I pretty much did it for the shock value, and I got a lot of attention, so I figured that was the way to go,” she said. “You have to be noticed in class — you can’t just be good, you have to get that attention.”

After graduating from Parsons, Brink worked at a construction company for nine months until she was fired. When searching for job openings on Craigslist, she came across an advertisement for a porn shoot in Los Angeles.

“After doing all that dominatrix stuff, you’re really jaded,” she said. “So coming into porn, I’m like, ‘So what? Porn isn’t crazy. What I did at the dungeon, that’s crazy.’”

Brink’s life as an adult film star in LA was exciting, profitable, and often hectic. She went to parties, was linked in the media with celebrities like Charlie Sheen, and even met her now ex-husband, Aaron Brink, a cage fighter who also starred in adult films under the name Dick Delaware.

The lifestyle, though, also had its drawbacks; Brink was fired from a day job at the Disney Corporation once her employers found out about her porn career. And her relationship deteriorated under the pressure of her husband’s drug and sex addictions, which were documented on an episode of the popular A&E show “Intervention.” It wasn’t long before she and her ex-husband appeared on an episode of “Divorce Court.”

Despite the exposure that Brink’s status as an adult film star provided her, the reality is that she experienced both the perks and pitfalls that many men and women in the sex industry face.

 

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According to Behind Closed Doors, “most [sex workers] entered the industry at times of financial vulnerability.” For a generation of students burdened by an unprecedented amount of debt, it is understandable why turning to the sex industry represents an attractive proposition. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, there are currently 37 million people with outstanding student loans, while 48% of borrowers between the ages of 25-34 are either unemployed or underemployed.

New School alumnus Audacia Ray is founder and director of the Red Umbrella Project, an organization that seeks to “amplify the voices” of sex workers, according to its website. Ray told the Free Press she believes that the appeal of the sex industry is apparent. “The reality is that college is really expensive,” she said. “I don’t understand what the big mystery is — hours are flexible and the pay is pretty good.”

Lang senior Svetlana, 21, has worked as a dominatrix since December 2010. After struggling to find a decent paying job, she went with a friend to a bar where women were paid to allow men to satisfy their foot fetishes. Hesitant at first, she quickly realized that it was an opportunity for easy money.

“I walked home with $150 for not doing that much,” she said. “I figured if I could do that, I could do more stuff. I started thinking about dominatrix work.”

A sophomore at the time, Svetlana only worked sporadically, but was able to make enough money to pay for her school books the next year. Soon, she took a few dominatrix classes at the BDSM studio Pandora’s Box, and started attending “slave parties,” where she put her newfound skills to work.

“It’s really empowering and really fun,” said Svetlana. “Someone like me, who has body dysmorphic disorder, you never think that you can use your body in a way that is beneficial to you without it being completely degrading. This is just one of those ways in which it is really satisfying.”

Ray, a former sex worker herself, said that despite the obvious monetary benefits, the sex industry poses more than its share of challenges for its employees. Unlike Brink, who claims to have left the industry unscathed and without regrets, many other young sex workers experience a different fate — one that takes on more nightmarish qualities, filled with stories of drug use, physical abuse and psychological trauma.

Ivana Woods, who requested that her real name not be used, is a 23-year-old student at Dominican College who has worked as a stripper and prostitute. During her first week as a freshman at Siena College in Albany, Woods was date-raped. Soon, she found herself turning to drugs and alcohol to help deal with the trauma.

At the age of 18, Woods’ parents kicked her out of their home in Chester, NY. Desperately needing to get herself off the streets, she walked over to Jenna’s Gentleman’s Club, a local strip club. She auditioned for a job, and without even asking for her age, the managers told her she could start working that very night. Woods would go to school in the morning and then work the 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. shift at the club, where she said she experienced sexual and physical abuse by both customers and employers.

“I ended up having to get back into drugs because of the constant molestation and abuse that would go on in the club,” said Woods. “It was too much to handle with a straight mind, so it was something to ease the pain or at least fog up my memory a bit.”

Woods said she was only one of the many strippers at her club who were under the influence. Customers would often tip in drugs, she said. After quitting her job stripping, Woods turned to prostitution.

Now, even after finding sobriety and leaving the profession, she toys with the idea of going back.

“I’ll come back from waitressing and I’ll make 50 bucks on a slow night, and I’ll just look back and think, ‘I [used to make] $15,000 a week,’” she said.

Woods’ experience reflects that of many sex workers, whether dancers or prostitutes. The researchers who compiled the Behind Closed Doors survey interviewed sex workers about the dangers they have been exposed to on the job. Forty-six percent of respondents reported being forced to do something he or she did not want to do by a client; 42 percent reported being threatened or beaten for being a sex worker; and 31 percent said they have been robbed by a client.

There are also no federal laws that ensure the rights of sex workers against abusive clients and employers — and though there are certain state laws in place, the extent to which they protect sex workers from such crimes can be limited. One of the main issues concerning sex workers’ rights is the freedom to carry condoms. According to “Public Health Crisis: The Impact of Using Condoms as Evidence of Prostitution in New York City,” a report by Providers and Resources Offering Services to Sex Workers, police officers often use condoms as evidence of prostitution.

Ringer, however, said it is patronizing to view all sex workers as victims. No matter the circumstance, “choosing to become a sex worker is self-determination in its own right,” he said.

Lena Allen, 21, made the conscious decision to start working as a stripper “just for fun,” and to make some extra cash. Allen, who requested that her real name not be used, was 18 when she began dancing at a Philadelphia strip club. She said she soon got wrapped up in the perks of the job.

“In the beginning it was fun,” she said. “I got to pick certain songs I wanted to dance to, all eyes were on me and guys were in awe. And they would tell you everything you wanted to hear.”

After falling into drugs and growing tired of dancing, Allen quit stripping after two years. “I’d rather struggle with money than keep thinking of myself as property or as just a piece of meat,” she said. “I wanted to be a human being again.’”

“The notion of empowerment is sometimes overstated, so it’s important to look at why people are doing it,  and what they get out of it,” Ray said.

For Lena and Woods, the appeal was financial stability; for Allen, it was money and, to some degree, the sort of attention that Brink received. But, as Allen put it, “That fades so fast.”

 

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Brink’s past involvement in the sex industry has held negative consequences, following her in other pursuits. “Everything that’s on the internet stays [there] forever,” she said. “If you really don’t care, and you have no future, and you don’t want to work in an office one day and be some big CEO, then that’s fine.”

When Vanessa married Aaron Brink in 2007, she quit porn. However, after a tumultuous struggle with drugs and finances, Aaron asked his wife to go back into the industry. By 2008, Brink had again quit the industry and began working at a Disney corporate office, with the hope of finding her way into the company’s art department.

“Working at Disney was terrible, but it’s something that I thought I was supposed to be doing so that I could get my foot in the door.” she said.

After a year and a half, her hopes of moving up in the company quickly came to an end when Aaron threatened to show up at her office. After warning her managers about her husband, they conducted a small investigation on Brink, and soon enough her past life as a porn star revealed itself. She said she was fired within the week.

“I had no choice but to go back to porn,” Brink said. “I was supporting myself, so what was I supposed to do? Just sit back and wait for a job? [Porn] scars [your life] so that it’s going to stay there forever, and you won’t be able to get rid of that.”

Sixty-nine percent of Behind Closed Doors respondents expressed a desire to eventually leave sex work. Like Brink, many long to move onto other occupations, but must deal with the possibility that their past involvement in the industry will ruin any chances they have in future endeavors.

Having left porn, Brink is now painting again and working on a project called “Porn Star Portraits” — a series of works depicting women she met in the industry. She found a benefactor, who she met during her time as an adult film star, who is helping fund her artistic endeavors. And she has intentions of coming back to New York in a few months to promote her work.

“With the freedom I have now, I paint like eight hours a day — sometimes more,” she added. “I don’t realize the time.”

Even in retrospect, Brink does not regret her career in porn; if she could do it all over again, she said, she would not change her decision to leave New York and become an adult film star. Along with her decision to be a dominatrix, she said it cemented her confidence as both an artist and a person.

“All of this I feel helped me be who I am today and get where I am today,” she said.

 

With reporting by Henry Miller, Shea Carmen Swan, Charlotte Woods & Elizabeth Wu