How Non-Smokers Can Make Friends At Lang

Before my first semester at Lang I was fairly confident that I would fit in. I’m from Wisconsin where it is the standard uniform to wear flannel shirts and a knit cap (they are cold weather accessories instead of styles there), I already owned a record player fully stocked with obscure Caribbean music and I had great stories to tell from the gap semester I took wandering the London streets and bartering hugs for fish n’ chips. I also had finally figured out how to mostly disguise my introvert-ness and social anxiety by smiling often, projecting my voice and rehearsing my class comments beforehand. But there was one thing I didn’t plan for: smoking is the main social activity at Lang.

What can I say? I took the pledge I signed in D.A.R.E. seriously. Smoking has never seemed lucrative to me and every time I see someone light one up, I can’t help but repeat the main message from all those 90s PSA videos: “Say no, yo” [insert sideways peace sign]. And I have said no yo (minus the sideways peace sign) for four semesters now, but not without some social consequences.

There have been many times when I was having an intriguing conversation with someone in the elevator of a school building, only to have our connection fizzle when they decided to have a smoke (a social cue to continue our conversation) and I left because it would have been awkward to just stand there aimlessly while they were puffing away. So I tried to get over the awkwardness and tried to conversate as the only non-smoker in a group. This turned out horribly for both parties. I hated the smell and it was weird that I didn’t have anything in my hand to fill the lulls in the conversation. Smoking is very much a group activity and not smoking clearly made me the other in those social scenarios. I could have caved by becoming a social smoker like many Lang students do, but my bank account is not in the position to pay for $13 cartons, I have enough anxiety without smoking and I really don’t want to engage in an activity that forces me to go out in the cold several times a day.

So what do I suggest for the non-smokers who want an active social life without sacrificing the right to clean lungs? Candy cigarettes. I’m not saying you go to the candy store, buy a bunch of candy cigarettes, and rip the labels off of real cigarettes to make it seem like your puffing the real stuff when you are really just getting a sugar high. Use the candy cigarettes as an unconventional icebreaker. Next time you’re with a group of people and they go out for a smoke, go with them (if you don’t mind the second-hand smoke), pull out your candy cigarettes and pretend to smoke. Once people realize what is going on, this will elicit a few chuckles and then the rest is up to you. This will not also give you that “free” feeling all those after-school specials told us we would experience by being ourselves, but it also gives you a life skill – the ability to adapt to new situations without forcing yourself to compromise. This is a skill that will be beneficial in future jobs, making you look like an individual who can do your own thing without being preachy about your choice to be different. Don’t we all go to Lang because we consider ourselves strong individuals anyway? Feel free to make up some story like you’re using candy cigarettes because your addiction got to the place where you where bumming cigarettes from homeless people or tell them the truth. The truth normally works for me. Just don’t socially smoke if you don’t want to. Remember it’s okay to say no, yo and this time I will do the sideways peace sign, for effect.