Starbucks Holiday Drinks Aren’t What They Appear

It’s been a month since Starbucks baristas began filling holiday cups with their overpriced but oh-so Christmassy drinks. Advertisements for the holiday-themed beverages are all over each of the dozens of Starbucks locations, displaying the perfectly whipped cream topped with meticulously placed sprinkles, all inside red paper cups with snowmen, young people ice skating and white doves.

 My ears rang with Christmas music the day that the seasonal drinks came out at the beginning of November. I love Starbucks, and will regularly order at least four of the six holiday drinks, sometimes all in the same day.

But the hard truth is that behind each drink’s fanciful, cozy, and heart-warming exterior is a deep, Grinch-like secret. The only reason these drinks are considered “holiday drinks” is the addition of special syrups and toppings, most of which are artificially flavored and often misleading. The drinks may look good on the pictures, but their tastes never quite match their names, and sometimes fail to reach the specialness we expect of a $5 holiday treat. Either they don’t taste at all like their advertised names or, more infuriatingly, only half of their stated flavors can actually be recognized.

Pumpkin Spice Latte–When I think of pumpkin I expect something close to pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, and pumpkin ravioli; the sweet pumpkin mixed with the chestnuts-roasting-on-an-open-fire spices of cinnamon, sugar and nutmeg. But this drink doesn’t have any flavor of pumpkin at all. All I can truly taste is the “spice” portion, which is good, it just isn’t expected.

Salted Caramel Mocha–If I just wanted a plain mocha, I would have ordered it. The mocha overpowers the caramel so that it just tastes like a very chocolaty and lightly salted regular mocha. Where is the extra special caramel that’s supposed to make this drink taste like dessert on Christmas Eve? I love the combination of salty and sweet and this drink – if only it had a little more saltiness – covers that dessert combination.

 Eggnog Latte–Even though there is actual eggnog included in the recipe, the sweetness of the eggnog gives a very sugar-plums-dancing-in-your-head aftertaste. I will admit that I’m not a big fan of eggnog to begin with, which is probably why I’m not overjoyed to order the Eggnog Latte.

Peppermint Mocha–Throughout the rest of the year you can order a regular mocha with added mint syrup and it tastes the same. The only “addition” is the curls of peppermint pieces on the top that melt into the coffee before they can even be tasted. This drink is good and I do like to order it, but really there isn’t anything about it that gives off the Christmas cheer, besides it coming in a decorative red cup and being more expensive because of the packaging, which fits the holiday season.

Caramel Brulée coffee–It’s supposed to be a spin-off of the dessert Crème Brulée and the way it is described is burnt caramel. It really just tastes like a slightly richer Caramel Macchiato, which is already offered year round. I really enjoy this drink because of the not-so-sweetness of the coffee caramel flavor.

Gingerbread Latte–It’s the worst drink in my opinion. When I first tried this drink, I remember how I thought it would taste like the warm, gooey gingerbread cookies that I bake during the holidays. Instead, it tasted like fermented ginger in liquidated form. This drink turned me into a Scrooge in regards to ever trying gingerbread-flavored drinks.

I’m not saying that all these drinks taste bad, simply that they are incorrectly labeled. The false advertising of these holiday drinks are like showing up to a holiday sweater party wearing an outrageous Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer jacket, but when the jacket is removed, all that’s underneath is a plain argyle sweater. When the alluring exterior is removed, the dullness of everything beneath it becomes apparent.