We may not have a quad, or engage in pep rallies or spirit weeks, but The New School is finally not too cool for all things school.

Following a recent digital confessions trend set forth by high schools and universities around the nation, the New School Secrets Facebook page debuted last week. As I’m writing this, the page has just under 1,000 likes. To put that into perspective, the official Lang Facebook page has 2,351 “likes” after four years of activity. 

The allure is obvious. The lacking of a New School student community (rooted in the absence of a “real campus” and the aloof anti-social demeanor touted by the school’s many hipster attendants) is a common New School student complaint. Recent remedies have been an increased university attention on sports and the debut of the Narwhal as mascot (It’s the unicorn of the sea. I myself voted for the cigarette to be the mascot.). But, if game participation and attendance are signs, students could care less. The general student attitude of cheering en masse for a school sport is synonymous with groupthink. Would Orwell and Marx do the wave? Probably not. Until this spring, New schoolers’ (specifically Langsters) only source of social activity was smoking (especially looking “cool” while smoking) in the Lang courtyard. With the smoking ban firmly in place, many New Schoolers seem socially stranded, unable to initiate conversations with peers without the option of damaging their lungs.

New School Secrets provides the opportunity to fill that social gap. Scrolling through the New School Secrets page, I get a sense of the main topics that concern The New School community — a privilege I’ve rarely been privy to in the last three years. Common topics include guilt over causing Amanda Bynes’ downfall because of a friendly gift of coke, roommate gossip (#141 “I had a roommate who showered once or twice a month, if that. It got so bad that I could literally smell her period. I had to sleep with the windows open”), dating woes  (#212 “As one of those ‘few’ straight males at the new school, I’m still not getting any”), and, unfortunately, confessions of suicide contemplation. In the beginning the page was more akin to Craigslist’s missed connections (#69 “To that chubby guy that I’ve met at Arnold Hall multiple times. You’re cute ;)”).

But now this anonymous virtual soapbox/office water cooler has given rise to more serious topics of interest. Like in #212 when someone decried the lack of administration empathy for Boston victims in the wake of the bombing. That post prompted a barrage of lengthy comments, one of them from a Student Senate co-chair who addressed the issue, making the argument that the university has not slacked off in regards to the Boston tragedy. These comments were not the thoughtless rants that permeate every corner of the Internet, but engaged students in an immediate dialogue. Granted, all comments on this page are not gems. But I think it’s worthy to note the power  (real or imaginary) students feel through these anonymous confessions. To be cliché: We have a voice! But, no one knows whose specific voices they are…

Anonymity allows students to be transparent in their confessions and gives others the liberty to lie as well. But does it really matter if some posts are lies? Every day I look forward to catching up on the latest secret, so I can discuss them with students between classes. Trying to figure who wrote what and discussing the most ridiculous confessions provide a superficial sense of student bonding without “selling out” by attending a sports event, like in every other college. Facebook is perfect for our university’s tech savvy try-hard-to-not-look-like-I’m-trying demographic. Students no longer have to tag “ironic” onto their true selves for fear of social ostracism.

I think the page provides a necessary service — a sense of community — in an isolating school located in an isolating city although it may not be giving the best impression to prospective students (high schoolers express fear of attending in the fall on the page). But maybe being forewarned of the school’s downsides will save some high schooler from Wisconsin or Georgia $250,000 and/or the stress of transferring colleges or maybe just getting a student perspective on the school, instead of the gussied up college brochure portrait. It could attract more informed students, or hopefully they’ll be astute enough to realize that most things on the Internet have a certain degree of fallacy.

I’m looking forward to possible spin offs: New School Cafe Food Secrets page, New Schoolers Who Look Like Narwhals page, New Schoolers Who Don’t Know The Definition of Post-Modernism Yet Use the Word Daily and Inappropriately in Class page, etc.

But until then I’m waiting to see my name on New School Secrets’ sister page — New School Compliments a.k.a. #239: “New School Compliments: for those of us who wanted a way to jerk each other off without having to sit through a critique.”

I expect something like “Danielle Small is the most intelligent, amiable, hardworking and stylish Jamaican that has that name at The New School. People should get to know her because she gives good high fives 50% of the time (She sometimes forgets to look at the other person’s elbow, because she’s human.). If you’re in the Lang cafe, she is most often seen at a table by herself watching “Powerpuff Girls” on her iPad. Yea, she is that cool.”