I remember sitting in the computer lab in middle school and watching a group of seventh grade boys passionately debating with one another while looking at the website, Hot or Not, which allowed users to rate the attractiveness of photos submitted voluntarily by others. Every time a new picture of a girl popped up, they would analyze and dispute her facial attractiveness, body type, boob size, sexual appeal, and whatever else they could discern about her character from her choice of clothing. Hot or Not may no longer be the most relevant website of its kind, however, I do know that these same types of rating systems still exist in many different forms. The latest reincarnation of the classic one-to-ten base ranking scale comes in the form of the app, Lulu, which was designed solely for full-grown adult women, by adult women, so they could have the opportunity to superficially assess men behind their backs via anonymous reviews.
Here’s how it works: in order to sign into Lulu, one must have a Facebook account, and that account must indicate that you are a female. You then have access to a feed of all of your heterosexual male friends, including family members, where you can review and rate individuals based on their looks, financial status, sexual prowess, and politeness. This may not sound like a legitimate source of judgment for a person, but at least Alexandra Chong, the creator of Lulu, really hit the nail on the head by pinpointing what every independent, cisgendered heterosexual female looks for in a romantic interest: money, manners, and hollow sexual appeal. I definitely cannot agree with the fundamental implications of this app, but let me be honest, I am not above Lulu at all; in fact, I have reviewed almost every guy that I have ever loved, crushed on, kissed, been casual friends with, stalked from afar, hated, been emotionally abused by, or am even blood-related to. I bought into Lulu and became part of the epidemic.
When it came to reviewing my ex-boyfriend (before he blocked me on Facebook), I tried to give him the most accurately detestable hashtags from the limited options that are available, #TotalF**kingDickhead, #TemperTantrums, and #50ShadesofF**kedUp; however, I was disappointed to not find any options that would realistically help any girls that were pursuing him as a romantic prospect. If I could add my own hashtags that would actually be of good guidance, I would say something along the lines of #ProjectsAllOfHisInsecuritiesOntoOthers or #EngagesInSexualRelationsWithHisDog. It didn’t hit me until I found myself anonymously reviewing my dad’s 54 year-old friend from central New Jersey, whom I didn’t even know was my friend on Facebook until he showed up on my Lulu feed, that maybe this isn’t the most constructive way of judging, learning or teaching others about these men. Maybe men are humans too and don’t deserve to be reduced to a living, breathing Carfax report.
For a moment, I think Lulu gave me a rush because it gave me control and allowed me to turn the tables on certain men I have felt judged by in my life, but the creator of Lulu, Alexandra Chong, had a different aim in mind. In order to gain more insight on the brains behind the app, I talked with Chong herself. “We created Lulu to empower girls to make smarter decision on topics ranging from relationships to beauty and health. In its current form, Lulu helps girls to vet their dates and hookups.” I want to believe Chong when she tells me that I am being empowered when I use Lulu, however, to say that Lulu is empowering is really to say that judging other people is what is empowering. The premise of the app is not very radical because it is based on the valuation of judging, as opposed to engagement. Chong went on to discuss the New York City dating scene, with which she is personally familiar with, saying, “the city’s full of eligible men, but it’s hard to tell the keepers from the creepers. Lulu empowers girls in the New York dating scene; it helps them make smarter decisions about guys, whether they’re looking for a fling or a long-term thing.”
At this point, I don’t think I would ever use or recommend Lulu as a reliable form of information on any guy, whether just a fling or a long-term thing. What ever happened to the old ethos of reciprocity where we treat others how we would like to be treated? Instead of striving for equality, Lulu seems to fight for vengeance. While this kind of revenge against the male species may seem fun and entertaining on the surface, its underlying implications are damaging because they push men and women further away from compromise and closer to segregation. “Men have been rating women forever using all sorts of selective media,” said Kate Eichhorn, Professor of Culture and Media at the New School. “Women have also been rating men for a long time, but men maybe aren’t so aware of it. We are all rating humans all of the time.”
When I try to imagine a world where Lulu exists in the reverse, with men rating women via a public app, I can already presume the types of tactless hashtags that I would receive. If I don’t want to see these kinds of superficial judgements wielded full-force against me, I don’t get why I need to do the same to others.
Illustration by: Tasia Prince
Natalie is currently a Culture & Media major at the New School. She lives in Manhattan and writes for the New School Free Press. In her free time, Natalie enjoys writing non-fiction and making illustrations. Like her presence online, she is always somewhere other than where she just was or on her way to somewhere else.
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