XO

Unrealistic expectations for Valentine’s Day often start in elementary school. Any child who wants to pass out candy is forced to buy enough Snoopy Valentine’s Day cards and Sweet Tarts for the entire class so that no one is left out. It isn’t until you reach middle school and maybe even high school that you realize no one is going to force the other kids to buy candy for you on Valentine’s Day.

Sometimes you can avoid the day all together. Just stay inside, order takeout, and binge-watch Netflix or Hulu. But in New York, Valentine’s Day is virtually unavoidable. Couples oodle and “ohh ahh” at each other, hold hands, and take up the entire sidewalk in mass displays of PDA. Stores advertise Valentine’s Day cards and gifts, discounts, and dinner specials. Even Etsy started sending out emails with gift ideas three weeks ago.

While Valentine’s Day is a wonderful occasion to express yourself and your love for yourself and others, it can also be mildly mortifying, incredibly awkward, and maybe even melancholy for singles and couples alike. If you’re still trying to decide what to do or who to spend it with, not to worry; we have an entire collection of stories and advice from your fellow New Schoolers to help you remember to laugh and get through the 14th, no matter what your plans are.

ROMANTIC VALENTINE’S DAY MEMORIES:

–       “Last year my boyfriend got me six bags of candy and a case of diet coke.” He sounds like a keeper to me.

–       “Receiving a card from a little boy I used to babysit.” Because while being loved is pretty awesome, feeling admired and unattainable is truly thrilling.

–       “When my boyfriends tried to draw us on a card he gave me.” It really is the thought that counts.

–       “Me and one of my friends just chilled, smoked, and watched Bleach.” Because nothing will ever love you back more than your friends and your Japanese anime collection. Maybe your parents… Maybe.

–       “Watching Love Actually and getting drunk on wine and chocolate.” Who needs the Notebook when you’ve got several intersecting storylines that all end happily and remind you that there are many different types of love not just the sob-inducing, everlasting kind?

NOT-SO-ROMANTIC VALENTINE’S DAY MEMORIES:

–  “Having the flu and not being able to go to the Valentine’s Day dance in fifth grade.” Because middle school is a horrible place where dances are one of the few opportunities to force your crush to talk to you or to climb the social ladder by being the best-dressed.

– “In the fifth grade, you know how they pass out the little cards with the candy? I used to get bullied really bad and everybody used to hate me. So everybody got candy in a card, and I got celery, with a card that said lose weight.” Because even on the holiday designated for love and affection, middle schoolers still finds a way to crush souls and goals.

–       “Going out to overly crowded restaurants with a bunch of fluffy, annoying pink things everywhere.” Those damn little pink things are just always in the way.

–       “Freshmen year of college, me and my boyfriend were going through some rough patches and I get an email from the mail room. I’m in line with like 30 other girls and they all received boxes of flowers candy gifts etc. and my package was the rug I ordered a week ago. I was so sad I thought maybe he would surprise me given the crap we’d been through. But no.” The anticipation of waiting in a package line is just too much to bear.

–      “Bethany used to pick her nose and put the buggers under her desk and I saw her do it all the time.  It was gross. It was freshman year and she wrote me this long card that was like, ‘I’ve always been in love with you.’ It was really freaky. And then I had another semester of classes with her. Freshman year of high school.” Pray that she washed her bugger-picking fingers to seal that envelope.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU HAD A GOOD OR BAD VALENTINE’S DAY?

–      “It’s all about how you feel when the day’s over. If you can look back with a smile on your face it was good. Valentine’s Day doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have a Valentine. Shoot, I’d take myself to dinner and treat myself to some nice champagne if I were celebrating Single’s Awareness Day this year instead of Valentine’s.”