Her pictures are everywhere and her name is on everyone’s lips. Kenyan-Mexican Lupita Nyong’o was the star of the award season. She starred in this year’s Best Picture Academy Award winner “12 Years a Slave,” and subsequently won her very own Academy Award for best supporting actress for her role as the field slave Patsey. Although she is a talented actress, it wasn’t necessarily only her acting ability that won her the hearts of so many. It was Nyong’o’s poise, intelligence, and beauty that made her America’s sweetheart, and yet I wasn’t so easily convinced. I was hesitant to fall into the media and PR trap that is set up every year when there’s a new and undiscovered actor nominated during the award season. I still had reservations because she is black and with her newfound fame comes a lot of influence. Hollywood prefers black women, like Halle Berry, of a certain stereotype that they have chosen to present to the rest of the world as the only kind of black women that exist. It’s a loud, aggressive and angry representation that I am certainly not a fan of. I wasn’t convinced yet if she would be someone that I would encourage my four-year-old niece to look up to. It wasn’t until I watched her speech at Essence’s Seventh Annual Black Woman in Hollywood Awards, where she won best breakthrough performance, that I finally made my stance.

She stood on Essence’s stage as beautiful as ever and as she got choked up, she spoke of struggles that most African-Americans can relate to: skin color and self-esteem. It’s no secret that racism exists within the black community, and as a result self-esteem issues based on skin color are more prevalent than ever. It was comforting to find out that a beautiful and seemingly confident woman like Nyong’o, who is a classically trained actress and graduate from Yale School of Drama, has faced the same issues as an ordinary black boy or girl in America. Nyong’o acknowledged that her skin color was “as dark as night” and explained how she would pray and tell God that if he made her just one shade lighter, she would be happier. It wasn’t until the supermodel Alek Wek came onto the scene in the 1990s that she finally saw someone that not only resembled her, but was seen as beautiful to others as well. It was Wek who influenced her to start to accept her skin color and start loving herself. This issue of skin color doesn’t just affect African-Americans. Minorities of many different races struggle with accepting their skin color instead of yearning for something different — something lighter.

Nyong’o had Alek Wek, but I was growing up, there was no one that looked like me. There wasn’t a dark-skinned black woman with natural hair winning awards or being put on a pedestal like she is. Because I didn’t have that role model growing up, once I went to a predominately white school, I struggled with self-esteem issues relating to my skin color. More often than not, I was the only black girl in the classroom, and there were few of us in the entire school. I’m sure that the lack of a positive black role model (that wasn’t sassy Moesha) that my friends and I could admire because of their beauty and talent likely contributed to my self-esteem issues. I wasn’t exposed to a successful well-received dark-skinned woman in the media that didn’t have long, straight hair, so it probably took longer than other people for me to start accepting my skin color and natural hair texture as beautiful.

Issues of self-esteem triggered by race occur in many racial groups, which makes Nyong’o even more relatable. People who haven’t seen “12 Years a Slave” know of her, and they probably haven’t even heard of her struggle with self-esteem. They may simply see her as the person she is today: incredibly well-dressed, regal, and a stoic Academy Award winning actress who may or may not be dating fellow Academy Award winner Jared Leto. After hearing her speech at Essence, I can imagine that it probably took her a long time to become to person she is today.

Because Nyong’o goes against the grain of what type of black women the media typically promotes, I support her. She doesn’t have long or straight hair; instead she has a short Afro. She doesn’t have a voluptuous frame; however, she’s petite and toned. Admittedly, it is more so because of these things that I root for her because she isn’t usually the kind of black woman that the media and America promotes and loves. I want to be able to tell my niece that she doesn’t have to possess European features or have a big butt to feel confident and be successful, and Lupita Nyong’o is my example. So for that, I will certainly jump on her bandwagon.

Edited on 4/21/14: The term “African-American” was corrected to “black” and Nyong’o’s heritage was included.