Three producers, eight directors, 24 actors, 32 people, 64 helping hands. That’s what it took to construct this semester’s One Act Play Festival, held by The New School Theatre Collective.

The show, produced by Mimi Barcomi, Nicole Coiscou and Morgan Stevenson, was made up of a spectrum of students: undergraduates, graduates, theater majors, non-theater majors and more.

The Tishman Auditorium located in The University Center was full of warm vigor and zest during the frigid nights of November 15th and 16th. Fellow students, friends, family and staff members were in attendance to show support.

Although the theater wasn’t anywhere near full, you wouldn’t have known that by the way the actors performed. Every single student up on that shiny, wooden stage projected themselves as if they were performing at The Met.

The night kicked off with “We Need to Talk” by Morgan Stevenson (Director) and Michael Castrovilla. We are introduced to Albert and Alfred, two gay men discussing their future wedding with a not-so-helpful wedding planner, Cynthia.

Full of mild affection and tender “I love you’s,” the actors take us on a witty, light-hearted journey as they argue, almost split up and then reconcile in all less than a 30 minutes. The dynamic personalities of both characters couldn’t help but make you wish you were in a cute relationship like the one portrayed in the play. And we can’t forget Cynthia, who makes you pray that there aren’t too many wedding planners like her in real life.

Next up was “Safe House” written by Anna Shneyderman and directed by Lauren Kleinfeld. This act paints a dizzying tale of Emma, a confusing character who rebels against her parents’ veganism and spiritualistic mannerisms. The scene opens with Emma talking to her boyfriend, Zachary, about doing “it” for the first time. The “it” is not sex, but rather eating meat against her parents’ wishes. She then befriends a talking pig who smokes oregano, kills a girl who tried to sell her cookies and once stabbed a mailman. Yeah, a dizzying tale indeed.

Written by Chlo Gold and directed by Nicole Coiscou, “The Management” portrays the main character, Anneke, as a wild actress whose recent scandal has blown up in the press. The scandal, which involves lines of cocaine and copious amounts of alcohol, will seriously alter the glamorous star’s career unless she gets her cleans up her act.

“Even Lindsay Lohan said you were out of control,” says her manager. If Lohan is able to say that about you, Anneke, maybe it’s time to get your sh*t together.

Sharp comebacks and a very well-done British accent are really what make this act as golden as an Oscar. Not to mention the tidbit of Anneke punching Justin Bieber in the face and breaking his nose. Or the fact that she may be dating Emma Watson and was caught smoking weed with her in a playground in broad daylight.

Any performance that bashes J.B. and even slightly mentions Emma Watson deserves a gold star in my book.

In “Untitled,” directed by Gideon Lazarus, three young women stand before the audience, two of them describe an emotional time in their lives. The first describes the heartbreaking loss of her family’s house, the second on how she was always the quiet girl growing up. The third describes the process they went through in creating this play, unscripted and raw.

Although this act was unlike the others in the show, it shined because of its simplicity and lack of structure. In a festival that overflowed with rowdy, hilarious scenes, “Untitled” reaffirmed that seriousness has just as much impact as comedy in theatre.

“Paint and Delusion” is a whimsical, dramatic piece by Thomas Blakely, directed by Aaron Harmon. True to its title, it made you feel like you were a struggling artist stuck in an acid trip.

The artist painted what they saw in a dream, which was a stunning young woman dressed to the nines in a sparkling blue evening gown. The only thing is, the “painting” is talking and breathing as if she were alive. It then tries to pull the artist into the canvas so they can be together forever. The act wouldn’t be complete without some digital fire and then it’s over.

“Paint and Delusion” has a great concept, but moves too quickly to understand what’s actually going on. Despite that fact, the actors really held their own in this muddled plot.

“Wet Between the Legs,” written and co-directed by Matt Prideaux and Joya Widney, makes us seriously question the characters’ commitment to follow the script. It then includes the characters writing their own group suicide, which fails miserably, which leads the characters to inviting audience members up on stage to take their place. The end.

Perhaps the greatest act award of the night has to go to “Take a Ride on the X Train,” co-directed by Mimi Barcomi and Sorcha Fatooh. The entire act takes place on a subway car, heading who knows where. A diversity of characters make an appearance including but not limited to: a yellow-gloved germaphobe, an obnoxious male construction worker, an old woman who carries two potatoes, named Gertrude and Margaret, in her bag and who also has 27 cats at home, a girl with an annoying voice and two fabulously random tap dancers.

Characters come and go as the subway reaches its stops, but the amount of bullshitting lasts for the whole lengthy act. And let me tell you, it is fucking great. The actors portray the similar type of sketch comedy seen on “Saturday Night Live.” I didn’t feel like I was watching a college theatre performance in a college auditorium.

And who could forget the sleazily-dressed girl who doesn’t say a word the entire time but instead takes selfies of her crotch? Or the performance art dancer who talks about baking cornbread in an Easy Bake Oven?

The Dramatic Narwhals have put together the best collection of shenanigans for this One Act Play Festival, I’m not sure if it’s possible it can be outdone in future performances. We’ll have to wait and see, but for now we can continue to bask in the hilarity and talent New School students have to offer in theatre.