Stop Ignoring The Normalization Of ‘Locker Room’ Talk

Donald Trump said at the third and final presidential debate, “Nobody has more respect for women than I do, nobody.” Laughter from the audience — and the entire planet according to SNL’s skit — followed this ridiculous claim by a man who was caught bragging about sexually assaulting women, a man who now faces several allegations of those assaults, and a man who is running to be the 45th president of the United States of America.

Although the absurdity of the claim makes it a complete joke, the issue of sexual assault in this country is not a laughing matter.

It’s ironic that the 2016 presidential campaign has brought out so much sexism in this country, while at the same time, the U.S. could likely have its first woman president. When we should be celebrating this feat, we are instead left feeling depressed by a man who has called women pigs, bimbos, and countless other insults. The potential of electing a president who has sexually assaulted women has overshadowed the potential of the first female president in history. It feels as if we are moving backwards in time, rather than making strides forward.

“It is cruel. It’s frightening. And the truth is, it hurts. It hurts,” First Lady Michelle Obama said in a speech at a New Hampshire rally in support of Hillary Clinton.“It’s like that sick, sinking feeling you get when you’re walking down the street minding your own business and some guy yells out vulgar words about your body. Or when you see that guy at work that stands just a little too close, stares a little too long, and makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.”  

While many Republicans have denounced Trump’s comments and withdrawn their endorsement of their party’s nominee — some even asking him to step down — others still side with his apology that called his “lewd comments” caught on tape, a distraction from the real issues of this election.

Former GOP opponent and now Trump supporter Ben Carson wrote on Facebook that Clinton’s campaign purposely released the video to deflect attention from the real issues, including her “desire for open borders.”

“[The progressives] do not want to discuss the vital issues that are destroying our nation and the future of our children,” Carson said.

However, Trump’s now infamous “locker room banter” is not appalling because his words were lewd; it is appalling because he is nonchalantly joking and bragging about sexually assaulting women.

The statement focusing on these comments distracts from the real issues in this country- people assuming sexual assault isn’t a “real issue.”

“This is not something that we can ignore. It’s not something we can just sweep under the rug as just another disturbing footnote in a sad election season,” the First Lady said.

In the United States, one out of every six women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime, according to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN). On college campuses, one in five women is sexually assaulted, according to The Campus Sexual Assault Study. RAINN also states that every 2 minutes, a person is sexually assaulted in the U.S.

So please, someone tell me, when does this become a “real issue” to this country?

Downplaying comments bragging about sexual assault as simply “locker room banter,” dirty conversations about women that men have when in private with each other, does not in any way make this talk excusable. This defense is insulting to both men and athletes (who frequent locker rooms) because — despite Trump’s claims that no one is more respectful to women than him — from my experience, most men do not talk that way.  

Like several other professional athletes defending their profession, Sage Rosenfels, a former NFL quarterback, took to twitter and tweeted, “I was a five-sport athlete in high school. [I had] 5 years of college football, 12 years in the NFL. Guys don’t talk like that in locker rooms.”

Trump’s leaked comments saying it’s okay for him to “grab women by the pussy” — because you know, he’s a “star,” — was not a hormonal teenager talking dirty to impress his friends, but a 59-year-old man boasting about sexually predatory behavior. Normalizing this behavior is not only far from acceptable, it also demonstrates the exact problem that it’s trying to dismiss. Normalizing this behavior perpetuates rape culture.

The fact of the matter is Trump was not in a locker room in 2005 when he made those comments to Billy Bush, then co-anchor of Access Hollywood, and even if he was, how does being in a locker room make this talk suddenly okay? Has the idea of the “locker room” become the new five second rule for words? Just like if you pick up your fallen food from the ground in under five seconds, the germs don’t count, if you said it in a locker room, those words don’t count?

This kind of theory is exactly why rape culture is still a problem in today’s society. The excuse that “boys will be boys,” while young girls are told to “act like a lady” and cross their legs or button up their shirt promotes, from a young age, the idea that men are not at fault for their wrongful behavior because it is inherent and women must not act as in any way as to tempt them. This harmful mindset is as insulting to men as it is to women and such words and thoughts can lead to terrifying actions.

A video produced by the humanitarian organization, Care Norway, illustrates this point quite well. The video, titled “#DearDaddy,” is narrated by a father’s unborn daughter who speaks to him. In it, the narrator, voiced by Sarah McDonald, says, “No wonder I’m raped when I’m 21 — 21 and on my way home in a taxi driven by the son of a guy who you went swimming with every Wednesday, the guy who always told insulting jokes, but they were of course only jokes, so you laughed. Had you known that his son would end up raping me, you would have told him to get a grip. But how could you know? He was just a boy telling weird jokes and in any case, it wasn’t your business. You were just being nice. But his son, raised on these jokes, becomes my business.”

The evidence of rape culture, combined with white privilege, was brought to light this past June with the now infamous Brock Turner case. Trump’s bragging about how he sexually abused women is remindful of Turner’s violent rape crime being equated to “twenty minutes of action” by his father, Dan Turner.  

Turner, who raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster at a college frat party, served only three months for his crime. Media outlets such as The Washington Post, TIME, and CNN were criticized widely on social media for identifying him as “baby-face” and “a promising Stanford swimmer,” but not a rapist. A petition to remove Judge Aaron Persky, who delivered the lenient sentencing (for fear that a longer one would have “a severe impact” on Turner), from his position garnered over a million signatures.

Although the sentencing on this case was ridiculously light, most rape trials never make it to court and/or result in no jail time. According to RAINN, out of 1,000 rapes, 994 rapists will walk free and the majority of rapes are never reported to the police — only 344 out of 1,000 are. The public was outraged in Turner’s case, but we must remember that Turner has become the figurehead for an unjust justice system that lets down hundreds of rape victims and women everywhere. When given her chance, the victim read powerful words from a pre-prepared statement in court. “I want the judge to know that he ignited a tiny fire. If anything, this is a reason for all of us to speak even louder,” she said.

Normalizing Trump’s sexist words and making sexual assault and rape a common casual thing, leads to judges who dismiss and reduce charges. This is just one example of that reality.

So I ask, are we speaking loud enough when the presidential nominee brags about his past sexual predatory behavior and writes it off as something all guys do? I would say no. At least not yet.

With the election this week, we must put politics aside and recognize that the issue of sexual assault in our country is not a Republican or Democrat issue, but an issue of basic human rights. It is an issue that must be addressed here and now.