My coming of age involved two fathers—one biological and one step-father. They’re business-minded guys with moderate takes on politics (they don’t support Trump yet wouldn’t vote for Bernie either), but both are on the fence about climate change being a man-made phenomenon.

The debates I have with them constantly leave me frustrated, with my mom, who’s on my side, reminding me that yelling at them about climate change won’t sway their opinions. But how else can my generation get through to the people closest to us who don’t seem to care that our futures are at stake? If you’re like me, with people close to you still skeptical about the climate crisis, having unheated, mature conversations with them is the best place to start. 

It took me roughly two years to reach a point where I could communicate effectively with my fathers and not storm away in anger at our disagreements. My failed conversations with them went something like this:

Step-dad: “In the 70’s we were told there was going to be another Ice Age, which never happened. Why should we believe that the climate is drastically changing now when they were wrong before?”

Me: “Because it’s actually happening now! I don’t get what’s not to believe, scientists are telling us this is a crisis with serious effects on the planet!”

Step-dad: “Aren’t there scientists who say it’s not real though? What about them?”

Me: “This is so stupid!” Then I most likely mumbled something mean under my breath and walked out of the room making sure the entire house heard my door slam.

Nowadays, I realize if I handle the dialogue calmly rather than with vexation, it would have gone something like this:

Dad: “I grew up in California, there’s always been fires there. Even when people didn’t live there hundreds and hundreds of years ago there were huge fires in the forests.”

Me: “Forests are naturally meant to burn so they can regenerate certain plants like pine but with climate change, California is seeing more droughts make the state incredibly dry. The fires in California are expected to powerfully increase and make the areas affected unlivable.”

Dad: “Ah, I see. That makes more sense. I guess only time will tell, then.” It’s not the answer I would have liked, but by laying out the information in a civil manner, he was receptive of the facts and the argument didn’t end in chaos.

It’s also important to let them know this is a cause that you—someone they love—care about and led you to make a change to your everyday life. Whether it’s riding a bike more frequently instead of driving or going full-on vegan, take the time to fully explain your choices so they have a better understanding of why you’re doing it.

Both my fathers have been busting my chops about my diet since I gave up meat, which used to end up like this:

Dad: “When you come over for dinner tonight, I’m not sure what you’ll eat since we’re barbequing. I can go pull up some grass from the backyard, that’s usually what you vegans eat, right?”

Me: “I haven’t eaten meat for five years now. These jokes aren’t funny anymore and you’re annoying me, so I literally just won’t come to dinner.”

Dad: “Sam I was only kidding, it’s not that big of a deal.”

And while I can usually take a joke with no problem, I could’ve curbed that awkward phone call with my dad like this:

Step-dad: “I can understand being vegetarian, that’s no problem. But vegan? It just seems too challenging and what can you even eat anyways?”

Me: “Yeah you’re right, it is hard at times because so many foods have dairy and eggs. But I’ve found a lot of alternatives and I think what I’m doing is contributing in a good way, which is much more important to me than a cheesy omelet. The climate crisis is something that weighs on my mind a lot, and if I can do even just a tiny part in slowing it down, then I will.”

Step-dad: “Then props to you! Whatever makes you happy.” While my fathers will always make snide comments about my diet, filling them in on the impact it’s had on me allowed them to stop thinking I was just crazy. 

Conversing with older generations about anything political can be frustrating given that their view of the world usually differs from ours, but arguing will keep the issues stagnant. With strengthened dialogue around climate change, especially with people like my father and step-father, we’ll see a wider awareness of what’s been coined as the greatest threat to humanity. It’s up to us to decide if we’ll let politics get in the way of a stable planet and a healthy future for generations to come.