Welcome to Free Press Free Write, a weekly column written by the staff of The New School Free Press. Each week a new staff member might share a story, memory, maybe a DIY, or a week-in-review. Free Write is a space where our reporters, artists and editors can express themselves through writing. In times like these, writing can be an escape.
Next up is our reporter and illustrator, Ally Santana, second-year Journalism + Design student at Lang.
The pandemic placed a pause on many people’s lives. It didn’t seem like a change for the better, but this pause gave me time to focus on my health.
I have scoliosis, the sideways curvature of the spine. People with scoliosis either have one or two curves, in the upper and/or lower spine. I have both. The more severe the curvature the more likely one is to need surgery. My whole life doctors told me that scoliosis does not cause pain, but it is painful. On a scale of one to ten, ten being highest, my pain is typically at a seven or eight.
When I was twelve, doctors gave me the option to wear a brace in an attempt to correct my spine and avoid surgery. For four years I wore that plastic corset 22 hours a day. I hated the thing. Through the years my pain worsened and I hoped to get surgery when I turned sixteen, but my parents were against it.
I have been in physical therapies since then. I’ve traveled to different countries to find doctors and alternative medicines that might help with relieving my pain. Most holistic healers prescribed teas and diets that might help. I found a specialist in Neural Organization Technique, a treatment that was explained to me as “like rebooting or resetting the body’s computer.” My pain went away for about three months with his treatment, but constantly needing to fly out to his offices in Canada or Costa Rica was too difficult for me.
I was recommended to a chiropractor that I often see to this day who helped lessen my pain for a while. I consistently do pilates, yoga, meditate and I am always willing to try new pain remedies. I have tried alphabiotics, acupuncture, electrotherapy, cupping, deep tissue massages, regular massages, injections of morphine, and pain prescriptions. Most worked temporarily, and the medications worked but the side effects did not seem worth it.
The pandemic caused a serious shift in my life. The public health emergency and social distancing caused all of my therapies to be canceled, and I had to try and cope with my pain alone. At first, I found it was refreshing to not have to keep up with anyone’s expectations. I always felt that people expect a lot from you when your pain is invisible. Being able to work and deal with school from home has allowed me to lay on the floor when I could no longer deal with my body, or burst into tears when I lost feeling in my legs. I didn’t need to worry about people viewing me as unprofessional because I isolated myself.
The downside was that the “real world” sometimes served as a distraction from my pain. When I was going out and socializing or even going to class, I didn’t have time to think about the pain that was nagging at my spine.
Because of the pandemic I chose to take a semester off of school. During this time I decided to go back to my orthopedic doctor because my pain reached the point where I was bedridden and at times couldn’t walk. I got an MRI and discovered that I had four herniated discs on my lower spine. My doctor questioned and doubted the amount of pain I was in even after she explained how severe my herniated discs were. I was also diagnosed with scapular dyskinesis and I immediately asked to be referred elsewhere because I was tired of my doctor constantly questioning my pain.
I am currently working with three neurosurgeons who have given me various opinions about surgery. The decision is up to me and though it is considered a cosmetic surgery my doctors believe it will help me reduce the pain. It’s a big decision that I have time to think about. I am just grateful for having my life interrupted long enough for me to realize that it’s okay to take a break from school and focus on my health. Everyone’s situation is different but I think prioritizing one’s health is key to a happy life.
