Over the past month, I had the honor of attending Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour a total of four times. Some might call it crazy, but I’ve been impatiently waiting for her to tour again for the past five years. After hours in Ticketmaster queues and months of scrounging the internet for additional tickets, I prevailed with four chances to witness this record-breaking tour.
I’ve had a long history with Taylor, my dedication spanning from 2010 to the present day. When her album “Speak Now” came out, I sat in my childhood living room watching her music videos on repeat every morning. My eyes would stay glued to my family’s desktop computer in awe of such a compelling artist for hours at a time. My love for her and her music never faded, it only intensified. Since then, I have attended every show I could: The Red Tour in 2013 and the Reputation tour in 2018. For thirteen years (convenient, I know), I have collected memory after memory with Taylor. Between going to her shows, listening to her music alone in my room, and meeting some of my closest friends through the online Swiftie community, Taylor has made a massive impact on my life.
Eras Tour Philadelphia – May 13
Five years after the Reputation Tour in Philadelphia, I made my way back to Lincoln Financial Field covered head to toe in sparkles, an ode to her song “mirrorball.” Just the sight of that unforgettable stadium brought tears to my eyes. Before going into the venue, my cousin and I had to paint the signature “13s” on our hands. During the Fearless Tour, Taylor’s mom would paint Taylor’s favorite number, 13, on her hand using a sharpie, nail polish, and lots of glitter. What started as a Fearless Tour tradition turned into an accessory that topped off many fans’ concert-going outfits for the past five tours.
Old traditions paved the way for new ones. Now, fans have started trading friendship bracelets because of the line “make the friendship bracelets / take the moment and taste it” in the song “You’re On Your Own Kid” from her most recent album, “Midnights.” My arms filled up fast with bracelets from other fans. Some had song titles or lyrics, while others spelled out inside jokes in the Swiftie community.
I sat in the middle of the lower bowl and couldn’t recommend it enough. While there are notoriously no bad seats at a Taylor Swift concert, I will admit that the lower bowl might just be ideal. Each row is slightly elevated so no one is blocking your view, you can watch the extravagant stage production, and you’re relatively close to the stage.
This night, Gayle and Phoebe Bridgers opened the show. While I didn’t know many of Gayle’s songs and she could never live up to my favorite artist on stage, she was a powerful performer. My heart raced in anticipation for Phoebe, though. When “Down With the Sickness,” the heavy metal track by Disturbed that opens her set, bellowed through the speakers, a screech escaped my mouth without hesitation. And the screeches didn’t stop. Once I heard the chords for the song “Me & My Dog,” I turned right to my cousin and grabbed her hand. This devastating song is off of the self-titled boygenius EP and features the voices of Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, and Julien Baker. While only Phoebe took the stage, it was life-changing to hear her voice carry through a sold out stadium and to watch a knowing smile spread across her face. By the end of her set, I was screaming as loud as I ever could per Phoebe’s request during her song “I Know the End.” Screaming my heart out and knowing my idol was taking the stage any minute now was cathartic.
But once Phoebe’s set concluded and the countdown to Taylor began, I started to panic. I knew an intense rush of emotions was coming my way. “I can’t do this,” I uttered. Clips of Taylor saying “It’s Fearless,” “they said Speak Now,” “My name is Taylor, and I was born in 1989,” thundered out of the speakers before the dancers emerged to “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince.” The dancer’s cloud props flapped in the wind with the sun setting behind them until they revealed the star of the night and of my life. “It’s been a long time coming,” she sang as I jumped higher than a kangaroo. And just like that, we entered the “Lover” era with her.
The tour spans across nine of her musical “eras,” from her second album “Fearless” to her most recent album “Midnights.” She moves era by era, starting with “Lover” and puts a clear focus on the albums that have yet to be toured (“Lover,” “folklore,” “evermore,” and “Midnights”).
The “Lover” era setlist closed with one of my all-time favorite and completely devastating songs: “The Archer.” I watched in awe as she sang, “Who could ever leave me darling / But who could stay,” as a few teardrops streamed down my face. When the last line of the song came, she smiled. “You could stay,” she sang, and the whole crowd rumbled with cheers.
Next came the “Fearless” era and boy was I overwhelmed with nostalgia. She pranced out onstage, dancing with one of her longtime guitar players, Paul Sidoti. In an attempt to recreate an era that consisted of hand hearts and spinning around in glittery dresses, Taylor delivered.
Quickly, she transitioned into the earthy, acoustic “evermore” era filled with trees, balls of fire, and plenty of witchcraft. Somehow it made sense, I promise. A few songs in, she played “Marjorie,” a song about Swift’s grandmother, who passed away when she was 13. Although I looked at the setlist beforehand, I forgot to prepare myself for this one. When she played the beginning notes to the song, my body jerked away from the stage as I screamed “NO!” unwillingly. I couldn’t even bring myself to hold up my phone flashlight. Instead, my cousin had to hold me as I sobbed uncontrollably. “Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me / watched as you signed your name Marjorie” – thanks, Taylor.
I barely recovered, but she went on to scream, “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” and “lay the table with some fancy shit.” I really did just “tolerate it.” But right as the snake hisses echoed through the stadium, I wiped my tears and snapped out of it.
I hoped and prayed the “reputation” era would live up to the Reputation Tour. Trust me, it did. The mashup of “Don’t Blame Me” and “Look What You Made Me Do” alone made this era shine, but getting to scream the classic fanmade chant “1, 2, 3 let’s go bitch!” again was the icing on the cake.
Next, we took a quick stop in the “Speak Now” era for an enchanting waltz before jumping into the country-pop classic “Red” era. She performed bop after bop in this era. That is until Phoebe came back on stage for “Nothing New.” Their haunting harmonies filled the stadium as they asked, “will you still want me when I’m nothing new.” I think we answered that question on this tour. Yes, Taylor, we will always want to scream-sing the words to 13-year-old songs with you – even if they’re ten minutes long, like the final song in the “Red” era, “All Too Well.”
By this point in the show, my feet were throbbing. I really don’t know how Taylor does it night after night in high heels, nonetheless. I was quickly rejuvenated by the twang of the first note in the “folklore” set. Little did I know hearing “the 1” live would make my heart flutter, partially because of the note change she added to the Eras Tour version of the song when she sings, “take her home.” Just about every song in the “folklore” era had me beaming, especially “august.” She pranced around the stage barefoot with her green dress blowing in the wind. By the song’s bridge, Taylor ran from one end of the stage to the other like a child tumbling through the grass on a warm day. I wanted to join her in that freeing and childlike sprint. What might have been even more liberating somehow was “illicit affairs.” Her voice, as powerful as ever, screamed, “don’t call me kid / don’t call me baby.” But I screamed louder.
The “1989” era felt like a fever dream. I don’t remember much except for thinking that Taylor screaming “Hey stop!” was a planned adlib in “Bad Blood.” Turns out it was most definitely not and she actually yelled at a security guard in defense of a fan. But when this era ended, that meant one beautiful thing. It was time for her two surprise songs. During this section, all the dancers and backup singers exit the stage leaving only Taylor and her instruments. The acoustic songs change every night of the tour and are rarely repeated.
I stood in anticipation as she strummed her guitar. She first played a “Fearless” song, “Forever & Always.” This one electrified the crowd and a palpable energy emerged. I felt a release when screaming, “it rains in your bedroom / everything is wrong / it rains when you’re here and it rains when you’re gone” – something I didn’t know I needed. Next, she played “This Love” from “1989.” What began as a poem written in the middle of the night turned into a cleansing shared experience with the whole crowd.
Alas! We made it to the “Midnights” era! Boy was I feeling it at this point. I’ve always said, “Taylor could sing her entire discography and I’d never get tired of it.” She came pretty close to making that dream come true, but I don’t think I ever considered how my feet would feel. Don’t worry, I didn’t let my jumping fade through to the last note. I left feeling empty and full all at the same time, but I knew it wasn’t over.
Eras Tour Philadelphia – May 14
I woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly good, the adrenaline keeping my feet from falling off of my body after standing for nearly six hours straight. I tediously curled each strand of my hair into the tightest curls I could manage, like her extraordinarily curly hair in her early career days. I slipped on a long purple “Speak Now” inspired dress and swiped purple eyeshadow on my eyes.
This show took place on Mother’s Day, making it particularly special for many moms and daughters. For this momentous Mother’s Day, I bought my mom tickets to the Eras Tour. The last time we saw Taylor together was on the Red Tour, so it was about time. After surprising her with tickets, she has been gunning for “Never Grow Up” as a surprise song. I made us matching purple bracelets with the song’s name, hoping the stars would align.
We drove back to the stadium a few hours before the show to tailgate with one of my best friends, Ellie, and her mom. Our trunk was filled with all the picnic essentials and extra toilet paper for the porta-potties. We toasted with our plastic champagne glasses before the show, although we had no champagne problems that day.
I painted a new set of thirteens on our hands, and Ellie and I wrote lyrics dedicated to our moms on our arms just in time for us to head into the stadium. Our seats were in the same section as the night before but a bit closer to the stage. I couldn’t care less about where my seats were, though. All I cared about was standing with my mom on Mother’s Day and watching the other woman who raised me perform right in front of my eyes.
Gracie Abrams opened first, which inspired the black bow in my hair. For once though, she didn’t wear her signature accessory. I jumped and screamed and sang louder than everyone around me. Next, Phoebe performed as the second opener. She was equally as breathtaking as the night before.
When Taylor came on stage, I panicked just as much as the night before. I lost full control of my body. While the setlist generally remains the same for each show, each one has tiny special moments. Most of her speeches this night touched on Mother’s Day, which led to many mother-daughter hugs throughout the audience. At one point she did use the phrase “mother is mothering,” and I’ll just leave that there.
During the surprise song section, she played a seemingly random surprise song first, “Hey Stephen.” Immediately I knew that we would get to hear her little giggle part way through the song. This performance was the epitome of summer camp sing-along, my smile refusing to fade. Next, predictably, she sang “The Best Day,” a song she wrote for her mom for Mother’s Day in 2008. No “Never Grow Up,” but still, my mom and I hugged the whole way through as we watched Taylor tear up on stage.
As we left the stadium, my mom told me it was the best Mother’s Day she could ever ask for. And for me, it was one of the most special days of my life that I will cherish for eternity.
Eras Tour New Jersey – May 26
After a two-week break to finish up classes and move out of my dorm room, I found myself getting ready for another Taylor concert, this time in my friend’s apartment in the city. My three best friends sat beside me: Ellie, Grace, and Hannah. We met through our love for Taylor, making this a monumental moment for all of us. The night before the show we sat making friendship bracelets and listening to Taylor in preparation.
Each of us dressed as different Taylor eras unintentionally. Ellie dressed in a lavender asymmetrical dress that combined “folklore” and ”Midnights” together. Grace embodied “reputation” with her black dress and sheer black tights. I dressed as country Taylor in my mom’s old green dress, some cowboy boots, and jewels on my face resembling Taylor’s “Teardrops on my Guitar” look. And Hannah donned the most “Lover” outfit you’ve ever seen, dressed in a girly dress covered in flowers and pink bows tied in her hair.
We tried not to burrow into ourselves as we walked out of the apartment and into the normal world with our extravagant attire. After a long journey from the subway to the train to a car, we made it to MetLife stadium and immediately got in line for merch. For hours in the hot sun, we traded friendship bracelets with other Swifties and tried to stay hydrated. I’d say the coveted blue crewneck was worth the sunburn.
Finally, after hours, we made it to our seats in the first row of the lower bowl. I cried when we saw the view. We had scored the second-best seats in the house (only being beaten by the actual front-row seats).
During her first speech of the night, she revealed some startling news. “I might have a few surprises and treats in store for you,” she said. The alarm bells in my brain immediately activated and I felt my face turn pale. “No, no, no, no, no,” I cried.
For the rest of the show, we feared her next move. Three separate cries and three outfit changes later (for “Lover,” “evermore,” and “Speak Now,” if you were curious), we had arrived at what would normally be the surprise song section of the show. The lights came back up to reveal Taylor and all her dancers crowded together on stage. There were a few too many people on the stage for her solo acoustic set. “I was thinking for a couple minutes we could turn this stadium show into a world premiere of the [Karma] music video.” The whole crowd cheered in confusion. “It’s not like a movie premiere where you have to be quiet. I want you to feel your feelings always,” she clarified. Thank god. Let me just say, I still don’t remember anything from this music video premiere except that I was lost. I didn’t know where to look – at Taylor sitting right in front of me or at the bizarre music video I was supposed to be watching.
Okay. That was it. I made it through the surprise. Finally, it was surprise song o’clock. I could breathe for a minute. I was expecting this. Except…surprise! Jack Antonoff popped on stage for the first surprise song. Jack is one of Taylor’s “best friends” as she told the crowd. He’s responsible for producing some of pop’s biggest hits for artists including Lorde, Lana Del Rey, and Taylor herself. He’s also a New Jersey native and loves to flaunt his love for the state whenever he gets a chance. You see, Ellie also adores New Jersey. He and Ellie must understand the state more than I do because I could never explain that level of hometown pride. But when Ellie heard the news that Jack would be coming onstage at this New Jersey show, she accidentally sent my phone flying off the balcony as she tried to fall into my arms for comfort. With tears in our eyes (and my phone returned with only a few scratches on my case), we got to witness “Getaway Car” with Jack Antonoff as our first surprise song.
The tears didn’t have time to dry before she began playing the chords of “Maroon,” a heartfelt “Midnights” track that features lyrics like “Carnations you had thought were roses, that’s us” and “how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet it was maroon.” Just typing this out gives me chills. “Getaway Car” featuring Jack Antonoff and “Maroon” in one night. Wow.
We tried to recover quickly but the “Midnights” set proved difficult to heave our way through emotionally. So much happened just minutes before, with no time to take any of it in. Midnights really did feel like a “Lavender Haze” this night. But my Taylor Swift senses were still intact. She forgot to put on her jacket, I noticed. Ellie and I looked at each other with fear and confusion in our eyes. “Where is her Karma jacket? Something is wrong.” Lo and behold, Ice Spice decided to grace the stage midway through the final song of the show.
And with that, we waved her goodbye for the night, ready for the long pillage home. We did not digest any of what happened while sitting on the floor of NJ Transit but we did laugh deliriously the whole way home.
Eras Tour New Jersey – May 28
Just like that, I arrived at my last show. I peeled my crewneck off and changed into my final outfit – a red dress with a crown and a sash that read “Miss Americana.” My partner wore a shirt with a broken heart on it as the heartbreak prince. And for the last time, I painted on our 13s and tightened on my light-up bracelet.
For my last show, we sat in the top row at center stage, where I got to see all the stage production in full for the first time. I screamed and cried my heart out, knowing it might be another five years before I would get to do this again.
I got to dance with my partner to “Lover” and “Fearless” and “You Belong With Me” and “Love Story” and “Delicate” and it was magical. I got to hear her play “Welcome To New York” acoustic. I even got to hear “Clean” on the piano, a moment I’ve been waiting for since my absence at the 1989 Tour. And then. It ended. I had one last cattle call out of the stadium and that was it.
After months and months of anticipation, my groupie days have come to an end – for now. For nearly two weeks, I have lied in bed, rewatching my videos over and over again. I hop on Twitter or Tumblr to watch her perform each night’s surprise song on a poor-quality livestream. I sift through my collection of friendship bracelets thinking back to all the people I met – the random mom who posed with me for a picture after accidentally walking in front of the camera, the little kid who stared a bit too long at my “fucked in the head” bracelet, the girls next to me who screamed “take me to church” before “Don’t Blame Me.” One day I might forget all the tiny details of my four shows, but I will remember the feeling I got at them forever and always.
I’ve always dreamed of going to multiple shows and after saving and waiting for years and years, that dream came true. I’ve grown up with Taylor. I’ve watched her make mistakes, learn, grow, make more mistakes, and repeat the process. She’s put her heart into her lyrics and allows her fans to feel okay as they learn and grow with her. I know everyone doesn’t get it and that’s okay. I did this for ten-year-old me and for me now. I did this to experience the shows with my friends and family. And when all is said and done, I get to walk away with so many memories with the people I’m closest to.