Love, Lucy is the New School Free Press’ weekly advice column, where writers anonymously share thoughtfully researched solutions to your questions about life. Send submissions through Love, Lucy’s official Google Form, and you might hear back from Lucy herself.

Dear Lucy,

How do I be a Scorpio woman without acting like a Scorpio woman?

From,

Scorpio-in-the-making

Dear Scorpio-in-the-making,

Lucy here, with your ultimate guide to astrology (not science). Most everyone knows of the 12 zodiac signs (Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius) — but what makes a Scorpio a Scorpio? To better understand Scorpios, let’s take a trip down astrology lane.

The zodiac refers to the path planets move along in space. The signs of the zodiac correspond to constellations that represent different animals. Scorpio’s constellation, for example, is shaped like a scorpion’s tail, hence the name Scorpio. Ancient astronomers believed there to be a connection between stars that form animal-like constellations, so they divided the zodiac into 12 parts, each corresponding to a different constellation. There are various interpretations of the zodiac. For our purposes, I shall focus solely on Western astrology.

When someone asks, “What’s your sign?” they are literally asking what constellation was closest to the sun at the date and time of your birth. So, for those born between Oct. 23 and Nov. 21, you are a Scorpio. These dates are determined by traditional astrology, but since planets move, the dates of the signs have changed by almost a month. So Scorpios might actually now be Libras.

But why not use these new dates? These traditional dates are the basis of our astrological understanding of the zodiac signs. If we were to account for changes, we would have to add a 13th sign to the mix, and all interpretations of astrology, both Western and Eastern, only involve 12 signs. Though those 12 interpretations may be different, there are always only 12.

The myths behind the constellations tell us what makes a sign unique. In Greek mythology, Scorpius is connected to Orion, who claimed he could kill any animal on Earth. Gaia (Earth) got angry with Orion and sent Scorpius, a giant scorpion, after him. After Orion was defeated at the hands of Scorpius, they were placed in the sky as constellations. However, you will never see the two in the sky simultaneously, for when Orion falls, Scorpio rises. There are several other variations of this myth, but in each of them, Scorpius is said to have attacked Orion.

Scorpios are one of the four water signs ruled by Pluto, the planet named after the Roman god of the underworld. They are often labeled as mysterious, blunt, and ruthless. According to Co-Star, the only thing they fear is vulnerability, which is weird for an emotional water sign. Most of these attributes have a negative connotation, so it’s not surprising that people seem to hate Scorpios. 

However, Scorpios are very misunderstood. People claim we are “too guarded, expect other people to read our minds, and hold outsized grudges over the tiniest issues,” or that we are “a textbook example of avoidant attachment style,” according to Cosmopolitan. Perhaps this is why you, Scorpio-in-the-making, asked how not to act like a Scorpio. But little do those haters know, we have good reason to be bitches. Yeah, I said it. 

From my experience, Scorpios may have the power to see into people’s souls. They seem to know someone’s entire life story from just one look, and I am not exaggerating. Knowing intimate details about a person from the get-go makes us weary of trusting others, hence our avoidant nature. Despite the never-ending list of flaws Scorpios may have, they make great companions! Scorpios have a ride-or-die mentality, which makes them extremely loyal (they will bury a body if you ask them to, figuratively speaking, of course). 

Scorpios are also very compassionate. They will “come to your aid before you even know you need it,” according to Co-Star. When it comes to love, Scorpios are hundred times more intense and possessive. We get jealous very easily, but who doesn’t like a little jealousy to spice things up once in a while? Caring this much about those closest to you can be lethal, as it often leads to heartbreak, disappointment, and more trust issues. But at least you always look dark and mysterious. 

However, some of you could be unevolved Scorpios, meaning you’re not as cool as the rest of us, and you need to stop giving Scorpios a lousy reputation. In all seriousness, unevolved Scorpios, from my experience, are not fully aligned with their zodiac sign or just don’t relate to it. Evolved signs, on the other hand, have a deep connection with their sun and feel that it best describes them.

Whether you are an evolved or unevolved Scorpio, the Scorpio experience is the same. So, how do you deal with all that hate? Well, try not to take any of it personally. As I said, Scorpios are misunderstood, so when people claim to know what makes a Scorpio a Scorpio, they most likely have no clue what they are talking about. It’s helpful to remind yourself that Scorpios are more than just dark, mysterious loners who look like they are always up to no good. 

If this sounds nothing like you, Scorpio-in-the-making, look at your natal chart. All you need to figure out your natal chart is your date and time of birth. Many go to Co-Star for theirs, but my underrated favorite is Cafe Astrology, which gives you much more information about your astrological identity than Co-Star does. All this information may seem confusing, but just read through your chart with an open mind. Though your Sun is in Scorpio, that does not necessarily mean you are a Scorpio.

It’s also good to check yourself every once in a while. If you notice yourself acting too much like a Scorpio, pause and consider why you may be acting that way and redirect your emotions. People forget Scorpios are water signs, and in my opinion, they are the most emotional ones (just because we don’t show them, doesn’t make it any less true). 99.99% of the time, we act closed-off or mean because we feel misunderstood or betrayed. The tiniest thing often sets us off. Someone could forget to hold the door open for you, and the next thing you know, you’re planning revenge. 

New York City is, unfortunately, the perfect breeding ground for setting a Scorpio off. The city is full of assholes or people in a rush, so if you don’t redirect your emotions, you are bound to commit mass murder (figuratively speaking!). 

Managing your Scorpioness is all about choosing anything but violence. So, my advice to you, Scorpio-in-the-making, is to remember that not everyone is out to get you, though many people in the city make it extremely difficult for anyone to believe that statement. While violence may seem like the answer to everything, know that you will get arrested (that is, if you’re caught), and trust that people will get what they deserve someday, thanks to karma. 

Lastly, remember that Scorpios are more than just bad bitches; we are also excellent partners in crime, loyal friends, and fantastic lovers! So, why bother fighting your true astrological nature when you can embrace it? If that means you’ll make enemies, so be it! At least you’re not a Gemini…

Love,

Lucy