Welcome to Concrete Jungle — a biweekly series where Brooklyn native Madison Black helps you navigate the ins and outs of NYC as a college student. Think of it as your personal survival guide, if you will. This week, we’ll get right into the back-to-school basics.
Hello, New School students — or, as I’d like to say in New York lingo, “YURRRRR.”
As the first official installment of “Concrete Jungle,” it’s only right that I greet you (or yell at you in New York style) now that you’re officially going to school in the Big Apple. I’m sure for most of you, this is your first time away from home, away from loved ones, and everything you’ve ever known growing up. It’s probably nerve-racking, scary, and confusing. You’re probably throwing up right now. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better — the crackhead that lives right down the block from your dorm is probably doing the exact same thing too. Look at that, you’re off to a great start!
On a serious note though, can I ask you something?
When were you introduced to the idea of New York City, what’s the first thing you remember? Were you thinking about the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, or the blinding lights of Times Square?
Well, clench those ideas as tight as possible so nobody — not even a “dusty” (aka a respectfully musty individual) in Union Square Park can steal it from you.
Now release them, and tell those thoughts to get out of here! Fuhgeddaboudit!
Get that brainwashed, dried-up, tourist-driven idea of New York out of your head right now! Mark my words, as real as those monuments are, they only show a small glimpse of the real NYC. Trust me, I should know.
As someone who was born and raised in Brooklyn (the best borough in the city, no one can tell me otherwise) — New York was my college campus way before I stepped foot in The New School. The multitude of courses I’ve taken range from how to pull out your pepper spray in 0.1 milliseconds to running away from a “hey yo ma!” thirst bucket on the block — all great forms of exercise, by the way.
And honestly, as annoying as that may sound, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
The raw authenticity of NYC has only made me fall in love with the city even more. It’s prepared me in ways I never thought I would need now that I’m a college student. And with me being the true humanitarian that I am, I want to help other students who are new to the Big Apple learn how to take the best bite out of the city without breaking a tooth.
So, with that being said, I, Ms. Maddie Black, volunteer as tribute to be your “Yankee fitted, Timbs-wearing, deadass fairy godmother” who will help you navigate the ins and outs of surviving NYC as a college student. To start, here are four basic tips to help you survive “New Yawk” as a university kid.
- If you go to Times Square, don’t take a picture with Mickey Mouse, the Hulk, or Spiderman. They’re going to ask you for money, and it’s going to be the same price as your tuition.
Now, I’m sure as a child, you were obsessed with certain superheroes and cartoon characters. But, c’mon let’s be real — we’re all basically adults now, and we know that if somebody comes up to us in a Kermit costume, they’re not a real Muppet (but, hey, it’s New York, so anything is possible).
Steer clear of Times Square as much as possible. But especially avoid the “Batmans” and “Donald Ducks” on the block (because trust me, you will encounter more than one). If you’re trying to look for places to hang, Times Square is not a frequent location I would suggest — maybe just one trip if you truly are dying to see it in real time.
Unfortunately, the reality of Times Square is that the streets are always overcrowded, everyone over there is an upcoming influencer or SoundCloud rapper, and you’re surrounded by a bunch of people who are from everywhere in the world BUT New York.
I repeat, don’t take a picture with King Kong or any character of the sort unless you’re trying to pay the same price as your meal plan.
- The deli on the corner is a second home. Befriend the sandwich guy — oh, and don’t mess with the deli cat. That’s the manager of the store.
If most of you aren’t already familiar with NYC’s deli culture, it is truly one-of-a-kind. In contrast to Times Square, I consider delis to be the best hangout spot (depending on what neighborhood you’re in). I remember in high school going to my deli right around the corner in Brownsville, Brooklyn and ordering a turkey bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll with an Arizona drink (the green tea one, of course).
But the main reason why I always went to that deli was because the guy who ran the store always said hi and asked me how I was doing. That deli is still one of my favorite spots to grab something to eat. They always remember my order and make me feel at home.
If there’s a certain deli in your area or a food cart on your block, I would suggest befriending the hidden heroes in NYC that run them. The more you go to these fine establishments, that’s exactly what the sandwich guy becomes — a friend. Get to know them, and make them become familiar with you. It’s great if you’re in a hurry to class because they’ll know your big back order right away.
It’s also great because if you’re not already aware, NYC is not exactly the safest place in the world. If it’s late outside and you feel like you’re being followed, pop into your local deli. Don’t worry, the chef in the back will be there to watch out and take your order if needed.
P.S. If you see a cat laying right underneath the register, he runs the entire store. He’s the manager, so don’t mess with him.
- Always ride the train with a plus one at night, stay alert, and pay attention to your surroundings.
Okay, I know that sentence is a lot to unpack, but so is the climate of NYC in general.
As special as New York is and as much as I LOVE my city, unfortunately it’s not that safe. NYC has been considered one of most dangerous places to live in the U.S., and crime has been rampant recently. But let me be clear…
This is in no way meant to scare you. It’s only to make you aware.
So when I say stay alert, I mean it — stay alert. At least that’s what the MTA always says.
Who doesn’t love the best public transportation in the world? The alcohol bottles on the platform, the delays, and the rats fighting over a random slice of pizza. Ahhh, it’s truly paradise.
As whacky as the MTA is, it’s one of the only forms of public transportation in the city, so you might as well get used to it unless you drive one of those Tesla spaceship trucks.
So if you find yourself outside late at night coming from a party, a concert, or a study group — make sure you have someone with you when you have to head home! If you have money for an Uber or a Lyft, even better, but always make sure you have a sidekick to fight any crime if need be (I’m joking, please do not try to be the next Peter Parker.)
- The city isn’t called the Big Apple for no reason. Have fun and make sure to take a bite!
After reading all of the tips I told you, you’re probably overstimulated in a number of ways. Maybe you’re still settling into your dorm and finding your footing in NYC. From rampant Mickey Mouses to bodegas to colorful transit lines, it can be a lot to take in.
But I want you to think of the new transition like this: The city is a living breathing organism just like you. It has lungs, it has a brain, and it especially has a heart — one that beats at its own pace. There will be days where the pulse will go as fast as a Citi bike or as slow as the 2 train. But the city’s heart still beats no matter the transitions, circumstances, or unexpected predicaments.
Don’t be afraid of what’s to come even if you might face a few potholes down the path. Those same potholes will eventually be filled with memories, a new identity, and life lessons that will extend beyond college and geographical transitions. As you embark on this new era of your life, you define your journey from this point on. No matter where you go or how far you are from home, this is your city. This is your Concrete Jungle.