Well, well, well…we meet again.

It’s Maddie Black — your fun-loving deadass “New Yawker” back at it for a second time to talk about the place that once gave the key to the city to P. Diddy… yikes.

Now, I know last time we were here I had mentioned a multitude of things to know about New York. From Daffy Ducks on the corner to crackheads outside of your dorm, I gave you all the tea on what to expect as a college student in the city that never sleeps.

Now, let me ask… how did I do? Did my work change your life? 

Who am I kidding? Of course, it changed your life! Why wouldn’t it? My philosophical and groundbreaking research on the Mickey Mouses of 42nd St. should be a TED Talk right now, duh!

But I hate to tell you, as much as you might love me and all my advice, I’m sure there are still parts of NYC you’re confused (and overstimulated) about as a new college student. In a city that holds over seven million people, it can be hard to find your footing when the first greeting you receive is “get the fuck out of the way” (which is really just a nice way of saying have a great day!)

So it begs the question: How can you continue to establish yourself in the one and only Big Apple?

For many people who were born and raised here, some may say it could just be a simple conversation, an event in the city, or a moment you share with someone. 

But I would argue that it’s actually food.

From The Last Supper to the Super Size Me guy — food is indubitably the symbol of communion. But it’s also a way to build bridges within the environment around you — along with learning about the ingredients that make you unique as well. But add New York food into the mix? Oh man, the possibilities of exceptional experiences — and food poisoning — are endless. 

But to savor those possibilities, you have to know some rules that come with taking big bites in the melting pot capital of the world.

That said, here are three rules to taking big bites in the Big Apple. 

1. Don’t eat food on the train. Someone will start a staring contest with you for the entire ride and might even come up to ask you for a piece (I know, the audacity).

Now, if you’re someone like me who grew up in New York, you’re going to have times when you’re in a hurry, and you have no choice but to eat your food on public transit. There were times in school when teachers made it very clear that I couldn’t eat during class. So that meant whipping out my turkey bacon, egg, and cheese on the 3 train and eating it expeditiously before I had to step into my first lesson of the day.

But I swear to God — for the times I’ve opened a wrapper of any sort — the moment that it made a slight crunch, I could see someone in the corner of my eye staring me down like that one kid from Matilda eyeing Ms. Trunchbull’s chocolate cake.

So, if you don’t want to feel like the greedy police are surveilling you, try to eat your food in a more appropriate setting. Also, for sanitary reasons, it just makes more sense. We don’t want the situation to go from a “rando” on the train to a rat — they’ll definitely do more than stare at your food, and nobody will be there to save you from that. You’re on your own bud! See ya!

2. NYC terminology: A hot dog in New York is not called a hot dog. It’s called a glizzy. And make sure you have a beverage (or “bev”) or else you’ll be clowned by a random person on the block.

This piece of advice right here is the holy grail of NYC. If you’re familiar with the streets of New York by now, I’m sure you’ve seen every cart imaginable on the block. Pretzels, ice cream, pepper spray — the list goes on.

But there is nothing, and I mean nothing, like seeing a hot dog cart. They are too common not to notice. It’s also the most normalized place for most people in New York to grab something quick to eat.

But in New York, we don’t call it a “hot dog.” We don’t call it a “frank.” Oh no, those words are too basic for the city that does the absolute most.

In NYC, we call a hot dog a glizzy. 

Now, why the hell would we call it that?

Well, the word has always existed, but it gained more notoriety when it was used during the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest which takes place in none other than Coney Island. 

The word glizzy derives from the idea that the hot dog is the same length as a glock/gun — which makes sense for a city with the most aggressive people known to man. Nonetheless, the word is pretty common if you’re born and raised here. 

However, it’s not just enough that you know the word. You need to know the rules that come with having a glizzy.

If you have no beverage or “bev,” you are officially no longer qualified to walk the streets of New York. Matter of fact, you might as well drop out of school right now, pack your bags, and head to a school upstate (which is not even New York for real — it’s basically Alabama or something).

So mark my words when I say this, if you’re eating a glizzy (or any food for that matter), make sure to always have a bev — a water, an Arizona, anything. Trust me, bullying runs in the blood of New Yorkers, and they will forever remember you as the person who ate a glizzy with no bev. Don’t go down like that.

3. Explore other boroughs if you’re a foodie! Mix up the melting pot and discover something new along the way. Most of the time, it’s cheaper!

Obviously, the majority of the New School campus is in Manhattan, so it might be instinctual for many students to stay in the borough for the convenience and centrality of it all. And while that may be great, the flipside is that Manhattan is typically the most touristy part of New York — which means it’s the most expensive.

But many people who come to the city for the first time are so attached to Manhattan that they forget about the other boroughs altogether. 

They neglect the smell of bronzini and calamari that reside in parts of Queens. They miss out on the fumes of mac and cheese and oxtails in Brooklyn. They overlook the platanos and maduros that fill the air of uptown. 

Many tourists end up missing out on the variety of big bites the other boroughs have to offer. But they also miss out on seeing parts of the melting pot that make NYC so special.

If you have no classes during the day and you have time to grab food with your friends — try Malecon on the Upper West Side. Or check out Dekalb Market by Fulton Mall. Explore as much as possible while you’re here!

Now I’m sure after reading this, your stomach is probably grumbling like the sound of a Parsons student running down the hall to their studio class. But besides making you hungry, I hope you’ve taken something away from this.

In the last segment of Concrete Jungle, I talked about the city as a living, breathing organism just like you. But I hope after reading this new segment, you can also start to think about the city as your own secret recipe.

The ingredients to finding community, finding friendships, and even finding yourself can take some time if you’re still new to NYC. But experimenting with things like food — from trying a new restaurant to knowing some do’s and don’ts —  can help you savor everything the melting pot capital has to offer. Like I always say, it’s not called the Big Apple for no reason. Make sure you take a bite out of everything the city has to offer!