Love, Lucy is the New School Free Press’ weekly advice column, where writers anonymously share thoughtfully researched solutions to your questions about life. Send submissions through Love, Lucy’s official Google Form, and you might hear back from Lucy herself.

Dear Lucy,

I’m struggling to find a balance between school, social life, and personal time. How do you manage everything without burning out?

From, 

Indecisive Juggler

Dear Indecisive Juggler,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with everything going on in your life. You may be thinking that it all may fall apart. But fear not, I’m here to guide you through this common struggle. 

First things first, sit back and reflect. A good way to manage everything that’s on your plate is by first recognizing what you’re good at and then deciding what matters the most to you.

Higher education can be expensive and it’s a good idea to stay focused on what you choose to invest in during the long run. School should never be your last priority as you are a student pursuing higher endeavors and likely yearning for a career of interest.

While it’s good to have an active social life, there will be moments where you have to take a step back and reevaluate your priorities. In order to have a balance, you must ask yourself, “Should I go out this weekend or practice for my presentation on Monday?” or “Someone asked me out today and I want to go on a date, but my friends and I are going to the club this Friday. How do I choose?” 

To this, an article from WPU interviewed a college student who explained that, “It’s all about time management and prioritizing tasks. I keep a planner to keep track of assignments, exams, and social events. I make sure to schedule study sessions and allocate specific time for my academics, and then I try to schedule my social life around that.” 

Now, let’s dive back a little into the past. When you were in high school, you might have had at least one or two extracurriculars that you participated in, whether it was a sport, a club, or something else entirely. You might have had to figure out how to balance those on top of your academics. 

But if not, there were a couple of things high schoolers had to do to balance it all. They might have done all of their homework during a free period or lunch time so that they could go to a concert later in the day, or they might have asked for an extension on a project because they needed to take time to prioritize their mental health. 

Looking back on my high school years, I definitely struggled with balancing school, a job, and an extracurricular activity. All of these things were time-consuming and for some time, I lacked the social life I maintained with my school friends. However, I informed them of my extracurriculars and we came up with short times to hangout. Taking the same train home or getting food after school helped maintain our friendship. I also had friends that I made outside of school which helped to keep a more general social life that wasn’t restricted to a single environment. 

With homework, one of my teachers told me that I should do the most challenging subject first and then complete the easier, less time-consuming work right after. This worked tremendously. I noticed that I was able to finish all my work a little bit faster than when I just went the easy route. 

According to University of Arkansas’ Hog Talk, “When a student has an organized list of all the tasks they have to do for their classes and all their assignment due dates, they’ll be more likely to fulfill these tasks and less likely to let the social events derail them.” 

The article also mentioned that, “A lot of students really struggle with the word ‘no.’ … College is such a fun and exciting time that students want to get involved in every organization and have leadership roles in these organizations and volunteer and go to social functions and events.” However, that can damage academic performance, and both your social and personal lives. Don’t juggle everything in your life as if it’s equally important, it’ll cause everything to fall apart. 

To avoid burnout, set a schedule and write down what needs to be done as soon as possible and anything that may interrupt. If plans with friends come up on the same day that you planned on taking a mental health day, communicate that you need time to yourself so you can recharge. Your friends will understand as they have possibly been through the same. 

Please know that you are not a bad friend for wanting to focus on academics or alone time. In fact, it may strengthen your relationships with others to know that you want to take a breather after having a stressful week at school or constantly going to numerous events. 

Lastly, I want you to know that you need to set your own pace because only you know what works best for you. Remember, there is no shame in prioritizing specific tasks over others. Only you can boost or hinder your performance. 

Love, 

Lucy